Raise your hand
I really hate asking for help. I was just about to type a sentence claiming I'm not so stubborn I can't ask for help if I really need it But that's just not true, because even when I do ask for help, I hate doing it. Honestly, even under circumstances where I don't hate asking for help, I'm still experiencing anxiety about it, and that anxiety is manifesting in some part of my body in ways that I can feel - tension, nausea, panic, you name it.
It took me well into my thirties before I was able to ask for help. So I'm not here on a soapbox as if I'm some kind of expert at this. But I had to mention it, because I'm worried. In case you missed it, the world - especially here in America - feels pretty fucking terrifying right now. And every day, millions of people get up and move through that terror as they attempt to go about their lives. It's not easy. It's wearing on absolutely everyone. Raise your hand if you're: sleeping less, arguing more, getting drunker or thinner (and not on purpose), feeling sadder, fatter, more stressed out, angrier.
I feel you.
For many Gen-X and Y-ers, in particular, things feel less hopeful than ever before. And, even though Halloween JUST happened, apparently it's the fucking holidays already (that's a separate rant for a different day). And let's face it - the holidays are hard for many, many people - especially with people feeling more divided and angry than ever before.
If you're struggling, please don't try to handle it by yourself. You're actually not a professional. If you need help, please, ask for it. Even if that means just confiding in one other person, a friend, your family, a mentor - ask for help. Let other people take care of you so that you can recharge. Allow yourself to let go of some obligations and responsibilities, if you can, so that you have more space to breathe. And, also of importance, you should say yes when people offer to help you. That one is surprisingly tough for me. Don't isolate yourself in your fear, or anger, or sadness. Chances are, some of your people are struggling, too. Take care of one another.
And, as scary as it may feel, ask for more help if you need it, even if it means therapy. Therapy is awesome. I am happy to talk about my experiences with anyone who has questions. You know what else is awesome, if you really need it? Medication. And you don't know if you need it if you don't go to therapy. I can't really even explain all the ways therapy has helped me, but I am a different person today than I was before I started - and that's a good thing. If it's fear or shame that's stopping you, maybe now's a good time to ask someone you trust to help. It took a close friend sitting down with me while I made the phone calls to get me to seek out therapy.
Things are difficult right now. Let's hold one another a little tighter.