It's hard for me to say who the main character of Lullaby is, because there are two, and they're equally represented as first-person narrators throughout the novel. At the opening of the book, the first voice we hear is Kate's as she stands smoking a cigarette in a snowy alley behind an off-Broadway theatre, contemplating her decision to leave New York and her budding acting career to pursue a master's degree (and a relationship with a guy) in Boston. It's in this dark and dim alleyway that we come to know her as a smart but not-so-confident woman torn between her dream and her sense of duty.
I had to work very hard to get to know Kate, even as her author. She eluded me for years, and it's only now that I feel like I have a grip on who she is, what motivates her and what demons hold her hostage. Initial readers pointed out some tough questions about this character, which forced me to get at the center of who she is - passionate, persistent and, I think, rather brave. It was very important to me that I get this right, because if there's one thing I dislike, it's a weak heroine. No offense to the Twilight fans out there, but the last thing I wanted was to write a Bella Swan. Kate's an actress, a singer, a reader of books, a bit of a recluse, a dreamer, a feminist, and ultimately a risk-taker.
This book is obviously a love story, but to me it's so much more than that. It's about accepting and loving yourself. That's Kate's journey - realizing she can be all of these things at once. I'm proud of the way she grows in this book, the leaps she takes. I can't say I was always as daring, but I'm still working on it.